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Weakend News

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14 April 2024

lil libraries under scrutiny

“Are Cutesy Lil Libraries Some Sorta miniature porno Trading Posts?”

Fishy Lil Libraries Don’t Pass The Smell Test

Are titillating porno magazines from the 70’s making a comeback in Chagrin Falls? “I hope not, but I’m not naive either,” says unemployed community watchdog, Treg Charlton. “From the moment Lil Libraries started sprouting up, I was telling my wife these were probably fronts for skin-mag enthusiasts, like wayward teens in my neighborhood pioneered. Chagrin has an actual, full-sized library that is barely used, so I was immediately suspicious about what niche Lil Libraries could carve out.”

It didn’t take me long to conclude these tiny libraries were positioned to move more porno than a truck stop along I-70.”

lil libraries under scrutiny
Fishy Lil Library: If Mr. Charlton is correct, degenerates will find a way to trade x-rated periodicals, taking advantage of an intricate, ready-made network of tiny, weatherproof libraries

Charlton blames hipster punks and dopey social media influencers for all the “look-at-me, I’m-so-retro” nonsense. “Honestly? It’s like watching Planet of The Apes. One moron unearths some obsolete technology and tries to convince other morons on TikTok that he’s discovered something cool. We saw the same dynamic at play with vinyl records and 8-tracks. At some point these geniuses realize 8-tracks didn’t die because they weren’t cool. They died because they were sh*t.”

To help curtail the spread of truck-stop-grade porn in Ohio or to learn how the original Planet of The Apes secured 3 Oscar nods (winning 1), Subscribe to ALSBros.com.

Editor’s note: Mr. Charlton’s theories are his own. ALSbros.com is not accountable for opinions expressed by individual contributors. Mr. Charlton has no proof or reason to believe Chagrin’s Lil Libraries are used to traffic pornography or narcotics.

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