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14 April 2024

Are Hummingbirds Greedy Jerks? Or Am I The Jerk For Enabling Them?

Hummingbirds Teach us Immediate satisfaction more important than manners
Hummingbirds visiting Treg Charlton
“You don’t know me, so I wanted to make you aware – I’m going to stab you in about 2 seconds.”

Hummingbirds are among the most welcome visitors to any yard. The tiny creatures are truly a miracle of creation and the precious harbingers of springtime here in Northeastern Ohio. Pound for pound, however, they’re probably the hugest a-holes in the animal kingdom.

I know we shouldn’t judge the whole by the actions of the few. Still, 98% of hummingbirds act like jerks.

I don’t know how hummingbirds act while they winter in Mexico, but in the Buckeye State it’s never okay to threaten others. It’s even less okay to try to impale them with a tiny, nose-mounted sword.

One ALSBros.com editor said, “This exact scenario plays out 500 times a day, right outside my window. In some ways I envy them. Imagine having the energy to physically threaten everyone that comes within 6 feet of you. That’s a pretty awesome, Covid-conscious response.”

For more purely factual news about my jerk friends, Subscribe to ALBros.com

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