The Characters


Barry Winovich

By 1993, Barry settled down and was no longer squandering rent-money at reggae clubs. Like something out of a Transformer movie, he morphed into a fairly-responsible and surprisingly fit father of three. Those who knew him best might complain about him being a little too obsessed with logistics. ALS never changed that. Nor his abnormally sunny disposition.

Barry vs. ALS

While dealt a terrifying hand, Barry parlayed his years of cultivating friendships into some pretty amazing outcomes. His zest for life and exuberant mannerisms really only served to make me want to do more, in terms of making fun of him.

Jack M. Subel

Jack (aka, Jim Dandy, Diamond Jim or El Diamonte) is, by far, the most normal person I know and is largely immune to my tomfoolery. He has been a constant in my life since the 4th grade and serves as a stabilizing influence. I only make fun of him to help him appreciate that life is not always fair. Subel's weaknesses include Chip's Ahoy! cookies and smoked meats.

Jack (Reluctant Facebook Personality)

While trying to deflect attention from my own shortcomings as a human being, I had the amazing idea to re-imagine Jack as the proprietor of a fictional chili company. Though disturbed by the meteoric rise of this fresh, new character, even Jack couldn't deny the public's appetite for disparaging, buffoonish characters bearing his likeness.

Treg Charlton

Upon hearing Barry's diagnosis, Charlton scoffed at the thought of buying life insurance, because "Lighting never strikes twice." Prior to everything becoming a crap sandwich, Treg enjoyed camping with his family, until the night ticks invaded his underpants, potentially triggering ALS. You heard that right. Ticks in the No-Go Zone.

Treg vs. ALS

Upon retiring in 2013, I had some spare time on my hands. I did some good things, for sure. Far more often, however, I sat at the computer - crafting bizarre content for my amusement - usually featuring Jack and Barry... When Barry passed, I took a few years off. Covid was apparently the wake-up call I needed to resume my virtual assault on Jack.

What Do You Think?

This is off-topic information. The sole function of this section is to please the web-pimps at Google, who will return the favor by boosting my SEO score. SEO stands for Search Engine Optimization. Whether you’re Apple, selling iPhones on the web or just some nutjob writing jokes about crippling disabilities, you want people to find your website when they search for you using a search engine, like Google, Bing, Yahoo or DuckDuckGo. Each search engine uses an algorithm (scoring system) to rank content. It’s not arbitrary when your search returns freakishly customized results. Bonus Fact: Only DuckDuckGo doesn’t collect or share your personal information.

Sometimes improving a page’s SEO results is as simple as repeating the page title, like ‘characters’ for the Characters page. Or including links to external pages, like the ALS Bros Facebook page, or internal links to other pages on your own website – like the ALS Bros’ Giving page… It’s really that easy. Fortunately, if you’re just surfing the web you don’t need to know any of this. There won’t even be a quiz.